(Yes, they snore. No, you’re not sleeping through it.)
French Bulldogs: adorable, expressive, and built like gym bros with zero stamina. If you live with one, you already know — they’re not just pets. They’re characters. From their theatrical sighs to their need for constant company, Frenchies bring drama, comedy, and snorts to every room they enter.
Here are 9 things that will feel painfully accurate if you’re part of the Frenchie club 👇
1. The Snoring Isn’t Just Loud. It’s a Lifestyle. 😴
French Bulldogs don’t just snore — they rumble like a Harley Davidson idling at bedtime. You’ll wonder how such a small dog can produce a sound that shakes your floorboards.
Why it happens: Frenchies are a brachycephalic breed — meaning they’ve got flat faces, narrow nostrils, and elongated soft palates. All of that adorable squish can lead to noisy, laboured breathing — especially when they’re relaxed.
Still, that chainsaw snore? It’s weirdly comforting. Until it starts during a Zoom call.
💡 Health Note: If your Frenchie’s snoring suddenly worsens, or they struggle to breathe while awake, speak to your vet. In some cases, surgical intervention or airway support may be needed.
2. They’re Built Like Mini Bodybuilders… Who Hate Exercise 🏋️♂️
They look like they could flip a sofa, but ask them to walk for more than 15 minutes and they’ll fold like a deckchair.
French Bulldogs are dense. With their barrel chests and thick shoulders, they look like they’ve been hitting chest day since birth — but their stamina tells a different story.
Most Frenchies are prone to overheating, breathing difficulties, and a deep emotional attachment to “doing absolutely nothing.”
You may start strong, but every Frenchie walk ends the same way — with a dramatic flop and a look that says, “Carry me, peasant.”
⚠️ Quick Tip: Walk them during cooler times of day, avoid long distances, and always bring water. Heatstroke is a real risk, especially in summer.
3. They Have Opinions. And You’ll Hear All of Them. 📣
French Bulldogs don’t bark much — but don’t mistake that for silence.
They grumble, sigh, groan, chirp, and make sounds that can only be described as a haunted fax machine. They will absolutely let you know:
- When the delivery man dares walk past your house
- When you’re 4 minutes late with dinner
- When the neighbour exists
These little conversationalists thrive on attention and routine. If you dare change either, prepare for side-eyes and sulks.
🧠 Behaviour Insight: Frenchies are incredibly social and thrive on consistency. Vocalisation is often their way of expressing frustration or just joining the chat.
4. Reverse Sneezing Will Send You Into a Panic Spiral 😱
The first time it happens, you’ll think your dog is choking or dying. But no — it’s reverse sneezing, and French Bulldogs are seasoned pros at it.
It sounds like they’re inhaling a hiccup backwards while also trying to sneeze, wheeze, and honk like a goose. Terrifying at first. Mildly annoying later.
Why it happens: Reverse sneezing is caused by irritation of the soft palate and throat. It’s common in short-nosed breeds, especially when they get overly excited or inhale something weird (like dust… or their own attitude).
You’ll get used to it. Eventually. Probably.
⚕️ Did You Know? Reverse sneezing episodes are usually harmless and over in seconds. You can gently stroke their throat or cover their nose briefly to encourage swallowing — but if it becomes frequent, get it checked.
5. Their Fashion Game Is… Ridiculously On Point 👑
French Bulldogs don’t just wear clothes — they own them. Coats, jumpers, sunglasses, rain macs, novelty Halloween costumes — whatever it is, they look like they styled it on purpose.
And the best part? They know when they’re being admired. Walk a Frenchie in a harness that cost more than your coat, and they’ll strut like they’re headlining London Fashion Week.
💡 Quick Tip: Frenchies do benefit from layers in cooler months due to their low body fat and short coats — so that bougie jumper? Technically practical.
6. The 10pm Zoomies Are a Core Personality Trait 🌀
You’ve had a peaceful evening. Your Frenchie has barely moved. Then, just as you’re winding down for bed — BAM. It’s time for full-blown turbo mode.
Cushions fly. Carpets become racetracks. That compact, snorty body suddenly has the agility of a squirrel on caffeine. You weren’t expecting a cardio session, but here we are.
They’ll go from zero to chaos in 0.3 seconds… then collapse like a Victorian fainting lady. Drama. Always.
🧠 Behaviour Insight: This isn’t random madness — it’s actually called a “Frenetic Random Activity Period” (aka the zoomies). Dogs often do it to release pent-up energy or as a form of self-soothing.
7. You Will Never Pee Alone Again. Ever. 🚽
French Bulldogs are like furry little shadows — they must follow you everywhere. Especially to the bathroom. Every. Single. Time.
Privacy? Never heard of it. Showering with an audience becomes normal. So does brushing your teeth with a dog staring into your soul.
Frenchies are incredibly people-oriented and thrive on closeness. It’s cute. It’s clingy. It’s a little creepy. And we wouldn’t change it for the world.
You’re not their owner — you’re their entire world. Their loud, sassy, snorty little world.
💡 Quick Tip: If your Frenchie gets distressed when you leave the room, try short separations paired with treats to build confidence and independence.
8. They’re Alarmingly Smart… Until They’re Not. 🧠❓
French Bulldogs will convince you they can’t learn “sit” — then figure out how to open the fridge.
They’re stubborn. Selective. And clever in a way that’s… inconvenient. They’ll pretend not to hear you call them, but instantly appear when you whisper “chicken.”
Training them is like negotiating with a tiny, furry union rep who wants snack-based compensation for all tasks.
🧠 Behaviour Note: Frenchies are intelligent, but not always eager to please. Keep training sessions short, positive, and full of high-value rewards.
9. Despite It All… They’re the Best Damn Dogs on the Planet. ❤️
For every dramatic sneeze, stubborn strop, or drool-covered hoodie, there’s that look — the soft-eyed, head-tilted “I love you” stare that makes it all worth it.
French Bulldogs have an uncanny ability to connect. They’re funny, loyal, cuddly, and deeply tuned in to your emotions. They’ll snuggle you when you’re down, celebrate when you’re happy, and bark at the postman just to keep things spicy.
They’re not easy. They’re not quiet. And they’re definitely not low-maintenance.
But they are yours. And once a Frenchie loves you, you’re never unloved again.
Final Thoughts
Living with a French Bulldog is part comedy, part chaos, part lifelong cuddlefest. They’re not just pets — they’re full-time companions with strong opinions, sensitive souls, and Instagram-worthy levels of sass.
If you’re reading this while your Frenchie snores beside you, just know: you’re not alone. Thousands of other people are also pretending not to be emotionally manipulated by a 12kg snorting loaf with separation anxiety.
And we wouldn’t have it any other way. 🐾
